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An Unlikely Friendship



          
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Isolation and social distancing are norm today and they really hurt!  Many are still hunkered down in our houses avoiding contact with those we love due to health reasons of underlying health issues. It is wise to be careful during this pandemic. But it is hurting to stay away from our dear ones. Closeness in relationship and friendship has been affected adversely during the pandemic more than ever. While it is a blessing to have social media, Zoom meetings, and FaceTime, nothing can really take the place of face-to-face physical interaction. You can’t give a big hug to your grandchildren over the airwaves or feel the affirmation of a warm and understanding squeeze through the phone. But for the sake of protection we choose to discontinue family visits, communicate through windows to elderly family members in care facilities, wave from a distance when spying a friend in a local store, and avoid the neighbor when taking a walk. It’s helpful to slow the spread of germs, but it really hurts.


David and Jonathan's love is understood as the intimate camaraderie between two young men.  They cared deeply about each other in a way that one would do anything for the other even at the risk of life. The story of David and Jonathan is introduced in 1 Samuel chapter 18, where it says that "Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself". The most interesting aspect of this close friendship is that this was an unlikely friendship.  


David was anointed by Samuel to be the successor of King Saul even though Jonathan was the natural successor being the son of the king. David had killed the giant Goliath who threatened Israel in the valley of Elah. He killed the Philistine giant with a stone and a sling. King Saul, had been changing for the worse over the years was afraid of the Philistines. Once a humble, obedient man of faith, Saul had become an arrogant, disobedient king.​—1 Samuel 15:17-​19, 26. The changes in Saul must have troubled Jonathan deeply, for he was close to his father. (1 Samuel 20:2) Jonathan likely wondered what harm Saul could bring on the nation. He knew David had the anointing and the leadership abilities to lead the nation at a time as this.  


Man is made to have relationships. We have families and friends, we have colleagues and coworkers. We have acquaintances and casual friends. We can choose our friends, and to a degree we can even choose our neighbors and coworkers, for we generally end up selecting where we will live and work. What we cannot choose in terms of ordinary human relationships are our family members. We are born into a family without choosing our mother or father, and our parents provide us with siblings that we ourselves did not and could not choose. Moreover, there is all the extended family to whom we are related. Cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, nieces, nephews—we do not choose any of them. That we are “stuck” with the family into which we were born can make for unpleasant situations and for “weird” family members whom we would rather not talk about. However, it also means that for the most part, come thick or thin, we stick by our family and our family sticks by us.


What is the foundation of our friendships?  Are we driven by personal gain? Is it WIIIFM - What Is In It For Me? Or is it the love of God that becomes evident in our actions? Do we make fellowship in our church , because you think someone supports your personal agenda? Is it about you or is it about others and about God? A writer says: “Anyone who establishes a friendship for access to power, money, or sexual relations; when these ends are not attainable, the friendship ceases…love that is not dependent on selfish ends is true love of the other person since there is no intended end.”


Many of the Proverbs and examples in the Bible teach us the importance of friendship and being loyal friends (Proverbs 17:17; 27:10; Ruth 1:16). A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity (17:17). Do not forsake your friend or a friend of your family,  and do not go to your relative’s house when disaster strikes you— better a neighbor nearby than a relative far away.(27:10)  “But Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. 17 Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.”(Ruth 1:16).  The Golden Rule also makes the point that “whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them” (Matthew 7:12). These things, and common sense, verify the importance of being friendly if you want to have friends.


Price of True Friendships

Many are “fair-weather fans,” someone who cheers for a team when they are doing well but ignores them when they are doing poorly. Sometimes we acy if we worship and follow a “fair-weather God.” That is, we mistakenly believe that when we are good and obedient, God is near to us and blesses us. But when we stumble and falter, God pulls away and ignores us. But the truth is, we have a loving God who is with us always, during our successes and our failures.Titus 3:4 states, “When the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy.” God’s desire is always to be close to us so that we can live in joyful service in this life and look forward to spending eternity in heaven with God. God never gives up on us.


Jonathan tried again to reconcile Saul with David but he had even less success. David came to Jonathan in secret, revealing that he feared for his own life. “There is only a step between me and death!” he told his older friend. Jonathan tried to speak well of David to Saul, but the king became enraged! He called Jonathan a “son of a rebellious woman” and derided his loyalty to David as shameful to the family. He tried to appeal to Jonathan’s self-interest: “As long as the son of Jesse is alive on the earth, you and your kingship will not be firmly established.” Unmoved, Jonathan again pleaded with his father: “Why should he be put to death? What has he done?” Saul exploded in violence! Though aged, Saul was still a mighty warrior. He hurled a spear at his son! Practiced though he may have been, he missed. Deeply hurt and humiliated, Jonathan left in anger.​—1 Samuel 20:24-​34.


Jonathan agreed to test out his father’s feelings on the matter and to let David know where things stood. While David hid, Jonathan would signal him the news by using signs they agreed on with a bow and arrows. Jonathan asked only that David swear to this promise: “Never withdraw your loyal love from my household, even when Jehovah wipes out all the enemies of David from the face of the earth.” David agreed that he would always look out for those of Jonathan’s household.​—1 Samuel 20:​3, 13-​27.  Saul continues to pursue David, he and Jonathan renew their covenant. Jonathan, however, is killed by Philistines on Mt. Gilboa along with his two brothers Abinadab and Malchi-shua, and there Saul commits suicide. (1 Sam 31)


David learns of Saul and Jonathan's death and chants a lament, which in part says: “Saul and Jonathan, beloved and pleasant in their life, And in their death they were not parted; They were swifter than eagles, They were stronger than lions ... How have the mighty fallen in the midst of the battle! Jonathan is slain on your high places. I am distressed for you, my brother Jonathan; You have been very pleasant to me. Your love to me was more wonderful than the love of women. How have the mighty fallen, And the weapons of war perished!” (2 Samuel 1:23-27)


We have all experienced times of loneliness. In Certain seasons of life we become  disconnected and lack close companionship. These past years of pandemic have been one of those times.  Yet no matter how bad this pandemic gets, we never have to be in complete and total isolation. There is a friend who can override the 6 feet rule. This friend sticks closer than a brother even when you even need to quarantine from other family members. He is never affected by the coronavirus or any pandemic, and He promises to never leave us or forsake us. This friend is Jesus.


In his book 'Quality Friendship', Gary Inrig tells about two friends who enlisted in the military, were sent overseas together, and fought alongside each other.  During an enemy attack, one of the men was critically wounded and was unable to crawl back to the safety of the foxhole.  The friend lay dying in a kind of no-man’s land created by the crossfire of the two opposing sides.  Hearing the cries of his wounded buddy, the soldier decided to try to rescue his friend, but the sergeant in charge yelled, “It’s too late.  Don't go. You can’t do him any good, and you’ll only get yourself killed.”  Thoug it was almost suicidal to try, the man nonetheless started crawling towards his friend.   Then a few minutes later, half-crawling, half-staggering, he made it back with his friend, cradled in his arms, dead.  Rescuing his friend, the soldier himself had taken several hits and now was dying. The sergeant was both angry and moved with emotion as he cried, “What a waste.  He’s dead and you’re dying. It just wasn’t worth it.”  Gasping for breath the soldier cried, “Oh, yes, it was, Sarge.  When I got to him, he was alive, The only thing he said was, ‘I knew you’d come, Jim!'"


What could better illustrate the truth of what Jesus said: “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13)? In John 15 Jesus called His obedient disciples His friends and made known to them how much He loved them. He continually keeps His covenant of faithfulness.  He laid down His life for us so we can be sure He will not forsake us in the time of need. The leaders of the time accused Jesus: “Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners”’” (Luke 7:31–34; cf. Matthew 11:16–19).  He left heaven to be born as a helpless human infant in order to grow and experience life among us. He lived among the poor and the marginalized. Though He was sinless, he died for the sake of sinners, to carry the punishment of sin. He rose from the dead, and sits at the right hand of God the Father.  He will come again to judge the living and they dead.  The bible says We “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, but the grace of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus” (Romans 3:23). Despite our sinful condition, God  desires a relationship with us. God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” - Hebrews 13:5 (NIV). 


What a Friend We have in Jesus!

Joseph Scriven was born in Ireland in 1819. After graduating with a teaching degree from Trinity College in London, he fell in love, and made plans to marry and settle down. It was not to be. The day before the wedding, his fiancée drowned in a terrible accident. Devastated, Joseph left Ireland and moved to Canada, where he became a private tutor. Eventually, he fell in love with another young woman and asked her to marry him. But just weeks before their wedding, she contracted pneumonia and died. 


The shattered man took a vow of poverty, sold all of his worldly possessions, and dedicated the remainder of his life to helping those who were weak, sick, and impoverished.  A few years later, Joseph received word that his mother had fallen ill and was dying. He did not have the money to go back to Scotland to care for her. Heartbroken, he wrote about his only comfort in a poem that was later put to music. Two decades later, the American evangelist Dwight L. Moody came across the song and was so touched by the words that he gave it a national platform. “What A Friend We Have in Jesus” is now regarded as one of the most well-known and loved hymns of the Christian faith. Joseph Scriven did not live to see the impact made by the song born out of his grief. 


Ironically, he drowned in a Canadian lake at the age of 66. Throughout the course of his life, Joseph learned where lasting comfort comes from. It doesn’t come from denying the grief or from self help or church or religion. Peace and comfort that is everlasting comes from God.  Lasting comfort comes from investing in a friendship with God, who promises not that He will keep us from experiencing tragic losses, but that He will sit with us in our grief and sorrow so that we won’t be alone. “What a friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear! Can we find a friend so faithful, who will all our sorrows share? Jesus knows our every weakness; take it to the Lord in prayer."


When the feeling of loneliness overtakes, reach out to Jesus, the best friend you will ever have. Listen to Him,. Talk to Him in prayer while taking your daily walks. Memorize His words as you sit eating your meals. Lift up your hands and praise Him for His constant faithfulness. Soon you will experience His gentle touch as He makes you aware of His very real presence.  “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” (Proverbs 18:24).





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