A Jewish rabbi, renowned for his piety was unexpectedly confronted by one of his devoted youthful disciples in a meeting. In a burst of feeling, the young disciple exclaimed, "My master, I love you!" The ancient teacher asked his fervent disciple, "Do you know what hurts me, my son?" The young man was puzzled. Composing himself, he stuttered, "I don’t understand your question, Rabbi. I am trying to tell you how much you mean to me, and you confuse me with irrelevant questions". "My question is neither confusing nor irrelevant," retorted the rabbi. "For if you do not know what hurts me, how can you truly love me?"
Love is complex. It is both a noun and a verb. The more mature one grows in this life, one finds that love gets more complex because the number of people in our lives are large and complex. Then imagine how complex can God’s love be with billions and billions of people to love. But God showed his love in one simple action, by giving. John Says. “God so loved the...that He gave..” It showed in one act of giving Himself. John could not explain that love in simple sentence, like God loved so much or very much or God loved us in vast or great quantity. John knew he cannot quantify the love of God, and used the expression God loved so that He gave his Only Son.
The great Christian author CS Lewis has written a book called “The Four Loves” that explains love in the Scriptures, based on four Greek words Storge, Philia, Eros and Agape. Three of them are possessive and the fourth one is sacrificial. Storge is affection which is not real love, but has some characteristics of love. It may not last long. This is seen in friends, neighbors, schools and even in church. It is conditional based on location, forces outside of oneself. It is also called ‘charismatic’ love or ‘fanatic’ love (of fans). It may also be called mania (excitement). We see this affectionate love during the baseball and foot ball game seasons. People get excited in love for teams that win, and then when things don’t look so good, change their love to another team. It does not stand the test of change of circumstances or risks of dangers..
Two travelers were on the road together, when a bear suddenly appeared on the scene. Before he observed them, one made for a tree at the side of the road, and climbed up into the branches and hid there. The other was not so nimble as his companion; and, as he could not escape, he threw himself on the ground and held his breath and pretended to be dead.. they say that a bear will not touch a dead body. The bear came and sniffed all around him, but he kept perfectly still and held his breath. The bear took him for a dead body, and went away. When the scene was clear, the traveler on the tree came down and scoffed at him for not fast enough to climb, and jokingly asked the other what it was the bear had whispered to him when he put his mouth to his ear. The other replied," He told me never again travel with a friend who deserts you at the first sign of danger." Misfortune tests the sincerity of friendship and love. We hear the announcement in air planes, “please wear your oxygen masks first before you help with your child or someone else.” Risk of own life many times fail the tests of the strength of storge love. You take care of your safety first, which makes sense in many situations. But God’s love toward us does not make any sense. He died for us even when we were yet sinners. God’s love does not change with circumstances. “He does not change like shifting shadows (James 1:17).
Philia is brotherly love. Parental love can come under this. It is still possessive and conditional. The city of Philadelphia gets its name from this word, city of brotherly love. We see this during mother’s day and father’s day a lot. It is seen in context of security. It can be as extreme as motherly love, but still has limits. An experiment done at an African zoo - where a mother chimpanzee was holding its baby, was placed inside a large glass chamber. Then they started filling it with water. When the water started to rise the mother held the baby up and above the water, then water comes up to the neck, she stood up and raise up the baby as high as she could, then finally when the water began to get up to her mouth and nose, and she started struggling to breath, she placed the baby in the water and stood up on the baby. There can be limits to motherly love. The Bible says, "Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands” (Is 49:15). Earthly relations have limits. Friends come and friends go, but there is someone who loves more than a friend or a brother. "There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." (Proverbs 18:24). God’s love sticks closer than a brother. A well known hymn goes like this: "What a friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear... Do thy friends despise forsake you? Can we find a friend so faithful Who will all our sorrows share?"
Eros is more in the nature of lust of sexual or physical attraction. It can also be used for the love of money, fame, wealth etc. It is similar to mania. It happens on "love at first sight”. Most people don’t even love the person they think they are in love with. They fall in love with the idea if being in love. This is more of a lustful kind of love, it wears off after a while. We can see that love around between boyfriends and girl friends. Businesses make a lot of money on Valentines day because of eros love.
In 2007, researchers from the University of Pavia in Italy, led by Dr Enzo Emanuele have provided evidence of a genetic basis for individual variations in Lewis's love styles, with Eros is linked to the dopamine system and Mania to the serotonin system. Real love in a relationship is a lifelong process. In marriage, love grows day by day. It is not love at first sight. It is love that grows to maturity in relationships.
The reference to God's love is linked to the Greek word 'agape'. It is the sacrificial and divine love that was taught by Jesus Chrust. No serotonin or chemical can explain it. Science has still not explained what kind of chemical causes this. I don’t know if it is only available in God and nobody got to analyze God’s blood. But God has shown his Agape love through the blood of Jesus that was shed on the Cross. Jesus, the Son of God showed us the love that we should show the world. Agape is the self sacrificing love of God for humanity where John is explaining "God so loved the world that He gave..."
If you remember Jesus when He came to Peter after resurrection in John 21, and restoring him asked three times, "Do you love me?". Jesus used the word 'Agape' in His question. Peter’s answer was the word “Phileos” when he said he loved Jesus. Jesus was asking Peter if he would love Him more than these things - the boat, the net and the fishing business. He wants an unconditional commitment. Peter, painfully aware of his disobedience and failure, felt too guilty to claim that type of love. broken and humbled about his past, Peter answered “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you”.
God’s love is gift of no return. He gave His Son. "No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends." (John 15:13) No one can pay back for the gift of God except for the sacrifice of one’s life. Jesus said "You may see people sacrifice for a good man". God sacrificed His son for the sinners.
Many people envision God as a judge holding a balance in His hand and think that the scales tell all the stories. Or, they envision God having a big book with our names on a page and every time we do a good deed, God puts a checkmark by our name and every time we do a bad deed, God puts a checkmark by our name. And whether we get into heaven or not depends on the number of good marks verses the bad marks. That’s not how God’s plan works. God’s love is unconditional, not “because of”, but “in spite of”.
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